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How to Network Without Feeling Fake
EP 131 w/ Paul Faronbi
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NETWORKING WITHOUT FEELING FAKE
Let’s be honest:
Networking can give some people the ick.
Forced. Awkward. Salesy… especially if you’re an introvert in STEM.
But here’s the truth: You need to network.
Not just for your career, though that’s part of it.
You need it to grow as a leader.
To find your people.
To create the kind of life and opportunities you want.
And if you’re like me, you didn’t come out the womb ready to work a room.
In fact, I used to be painfully shy. Like… “won’t ask for ketchup even though my fries are dry” kind of shy.
So how did I go from that to being the guy people say “knows everyone”?
Let me break it down.
First, let’s reframe “networking”
Networking isn’t about business cards or awkward LinkedIn DMs.
It’s not about climbing a ladder or flexing your job title.
It’s about connection.
It’s about being curious.
It’s about learning who people are, what lights them up, and where you might genuinely add value.
Whether you’re a student, engineer, researcher, or just someone trying to figure out what’s next—networking is your secret sauce.
Start with questions, not your resume
If you freeze at the thought of small talk, here’s a trick:
Ask about them.
People love talking about themselves… it’s science.
Start with:
“Are you from around here?”
“What’s something you’re excited about outside of work?”
“What’s the best thing you’ve eaten lately?” (Food is always a winner in my book)
You don’t have to be the most charismatic person in the room.
You just have to be genuinely curious.
Don’t shrink when it’s your turn
Now, when they flip the question back, don’t downplay yourself!
Talk about what you do, what you’re building, what lights you up.
Yes, even if it feels weird.
Yes, even if you’re still figuring it out.
It’s not bragging. It’s sharing.
And you’re not a burden. You’re a whole vibe.
Add value, don’t just collect contacts
I like to think of myself less as a “networker” and more as a connector.
If someone tells me they’re interested in AI policy and I know someone crushing it in that space? Boom. Connection made.
Your goal isn’t to build the biggest network.
It’s to build a meaningful one.
TL;DR: Networking doesn’t have to suck
If I could leave you with one thing, it’s this:
Be intentional. Be curious. Be generous.
That’s how you build a network worth having.
You don’t need to be the loudest person in the room.
You just need to show up authentically.
And when you do? That’s where the magic happens.
Let’s make your network work FOR you.
Click the button or YouTube Link to stream this week’s episode where I dive deeper into Networking.
Stay curious. Stay generous.
And as always, Be Incredible!
MORE DETAILS ABOUT EPISODE
In this episode of IncrediPaul Leadership, Paul Faronbi shares his journey from being painfully shy to becoming a professional connector and effective networker. He emphasizes the importance of focusing on others during networking, shares strategies for initiating conversations, and highlights the mutual benefits of networking. Paul also discusses how personal experiences and shared interests can foster connections, making networking a valuable tool for personal and professional growth.
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KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM EPISODE
Networking is essential for personal and professional growth.
Focus on the other person to build connections.
Overcoming shyness can lead to effective networking skills.
Intentionality in networking can create valuable relationships.
Asking about shared interests can enhance conversations.
Networking is a two-way street; help others as well.
Be open to learning from everyone you meet.
Practice active listening to engage better in conversations.
Networking can evolve over time with experience.
Building confidence is key to effective networking.
LEADERSHIP QUOTE
“Networking - cultivating of mutually beneficial give and take, win-win relationships.”

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