As a recovering people-pleaser, I’ve had to learn the hard difference between being nice and being kind.

The main difference? BOUNDARIES!

I consider myself a kind person, but every now and then, someone mistakes that kindness for weakness. When they do, I have to firmly remind them that I’m not a push-over.

A few months ago, I wrapped up a product trial. The results didn't quite hit the standard I was targeting, so I brought samples to Marketing, Sales, and the broader team to align on next steps.

Most of the team actually thought the output was usable, but as an engineer, I was already hunting down the root cause. I had a solid theory and had reached out to our contractor the day before to confirm it.

That’s when a product manager, who isn't even my boss, decided to chime in. Right there in our open office, in front of colleagues, they dropped an offhand comment that fixing the problem was "my job as an engineer and needed to get right on it."

Usually, I’d let a passive-aggressive comment like that slide. But this wasn't their first context-free jab at my work from them, so I decided today wasn't the day.

I looked them in the eye and held my ground: “I’m actively working toward a solution, and I have a solid lead on the root cause. I’m currently waiting on a callback from the contractor after reaching out yesterday.”

You could feel the shift immediately. They clearly expected me to swallow the comment and keep quiet. Instead, they went silent and walked away.

Since that day, that manager hasn't confronted me like that again. In fact, they now make a point to lead with questions instead of assumptions. Setting that boundary wasn't "un-nice", it was the kindest thing I could do for my sanity and my self-respect.

Now, over to you!

Setting boundaries starts with knowing where your line actually is AND having the grit to honor it.

Take two minutes today to check in with yourself:

Hit reply and let me know: What’s one boundary you need to define and start respecting this week?

In this episode, LaKiesha Tomlin shares her journey from engineering in aerospace to developing skills in trading and leadership. Discover how her technical background shaped her leadership style, the importance of trust, effective communication, and embracing continuous growth as a leader.

Reminder new episodes come out every Monday at 6am Central Time. Check it out by going to incredipaul.org/podcast or stream on the following platforms: YouTube, Apple, Spotify, YouTube Music, Amazon and More.

Reply back to this email and let me know if you have any key takeaways or if there’s a particular topic or person you’d like to see on a future show!

I know newsletters aren’t for everyone or maybe this isn’t what you thought. You won’t hurt my feelings if you unsubscribe using the button below.

IncrediPaul